Thursday, September 11, 2008

Mixed feeling

I was having a very nice dinner with my old friends and is good to meet them up again. I'm happy to know Chris and Paul are going to get married soon in Manchester. I've promised them attend their wedding ceremony. Had a very good chat with them and bitching around with some jokes. What a great day I have had. We went to a seafood restaurant around our area. It was nice and the food were absolutely mouth watering. Though I have been staying here for years now and I just got to know that there's seafood restaurant other than Lala Chong. Will definately heading back to that place again soon.


Though I'm happy to meet them up, I got a weird feeling which makes me sad. It is absolutely not related to Chris, Paul or others. The guy that I had a crush on is not in a good mood and obviously sad about the things happening around him. I know it is not related to me at all but I'm really sad to see him like this. I wish I could listen to him and share his pains unfortunately I feel a bit alienated from him. I did have a sense of dejavu that it will happen one day. I'm really struggling with my emotions right now. I found it really hard to cope with feelings. I have chose to let go and I know is going to be hard to get back to the old times that we had. Everything is officially changed since the moment is over and I knew that I've to make myself clear of my status and who am I to him. I'm just his friends, a very normal friend. I have no rights to know bother him though I just wish to concern him.


Maybe as usual, I need a break and I am definately going to struggle for a while in the letting go process. Eventually it helps me to understand that feelings to someone will never good to be expressed out. I'm really sad and hate myself now. Sigh :-(